I Would Have Loved You All My Life
by Rainy1
Summary: The night after the events of 'The Bitterest Pill' is a hard one for Liberty. It's not very easy dealing with the surprise fact that the love of your life did indeed still love you the night that he suffered an untimely death.


**Jiberty is just... Dear old it is my OTP above all OTPs! I literally cry so much over these two it's not even funny. Here's the first of many Jiberty fics by yours truly! This may not be my best since it's 3am over here and I just spewled all of this out in about an hour, but ah well, I guess the judgement is up to my readers!**

**But just a note to please read of clarification: This takes place the night after the events of the episode The Bitterest Pill. I suppose that this could also be an AU of the mini I Won't Forget? Ah well, have at it, fellow Jiberty shippers!**

* * *

Surprises were never a favorite of mine. Especially those of which that involve the fact that your ex-boyfriend had died still loving you. Ah… Those kinds were certainly the worst. Especially when you find out due to his best friend spilling it to your ex's girlfriend while you stand far behind her and try to take in the new information. Oh, and I almost forgot to mention that this fun surprise just happened to take place during the tribute for him at school.

I now detest surprises even more than I already did.

You may ask how a girl copes with losing the love of her life in a situation like so. Well, it most certainly is not easy. In fact, it is quite the opposite. Everyone you know has sad eyes and the atmosphere seems dull and stale without his contagious smile soaking up the room… Oh, and the looks and stares that you receive! While not everyone may know about the feelings that were shared before JT Yorke's untimely demise, they know about the relationship that we shared and the child that we created. Strangers expect you to be a blank slate and friends expect you to cry your eyes out against their shoulders. It's a very hard and unfortunate experience that I have been granted with.

Home life isn't any easier as well. My mother smothers me with childish phrases such as "tell me if you need anything, Liberty, we love you" and the infamous "things will get better, I promise". Please, just spare me the lies and sympathy. My JT is gone and he will not return, the last thing I want is to be told that I will forget about him in time because I won't. No matter where I am in the future, no matter how strong or how smart I am, I will never forget the great JT Yorke. I will carry his memory with me to my grave…

I lock myself in my room again. I just want solitude for once since this whole ordeal. I can't remember the last time I sobbed this much or the last time that I felt so lost and broken. I lay my body against the comfort of my bed and cocoon myself in my blankets and I cry. I just close my eyes and I cry. I cry for myself, for not being able to save him and protect him, for our friends, for him, and hell, I think I even cry for Mia.

It's not long before my childish sobbing puts me to rest for the night.

* * *

My eyes dart open and I gasp in surprise. I felt like I was being pulled away from my body, but I was still in bed. I flash my gaze towards my clock.

"Sorry for wakin' you up so late in the night."

My breath catches in my throat as soon as that voice catches in my ears. Slowly and hesitantly, I turn around towards the source, and I almost cry again as my heart drops.

There he is.

Oh god, there he is.

Somehow, JT, my everything, is lying on his side next to me in my bed. He's wearing what he had on the night he perished and he's giving me this doofy, oblivious, gleeful smile. I fling myself up onto my knees and stare down at him in utter disbelief.

"JT…?" I manage to choke out his name. He chuckles softly and sits up onto his knees as well.

"The one and only!"

"What… How… This is impossible! You… You died." I struggle to speak as I stare at him, begging for this to be real. He seems to sense my stress and he places his cold hand on top of my own and gives me a sincere smile.

"I know, Liberty, I know. I just…" He pauses and chews on his lip for a moment before speaking again, "I needed to see you."

I'm at a loss of words. I don't know what to say or do and I don't know what to feel. My heart races at what I consider to be an impossible rate and I can feel my eyes beginning to grow hot again. JT squeezes my hand and inches closer towards me so that our knees are touching.

"I'm sorry, Lib, I know that this is probably really odd and confusing, but I just…"

"Why didn't you tell me?" I manage to squeak out as he trails off. His brown eyes lock onto my own and he looks confused.

"Why didn't you tell me the truth that night?" I clarify as my voice cracks with emotion. His nostrils flare as he sighs softly and averts his gaze down.

"I… I don't know. I was shocked and scared. I didn't know what to do. I was going to go out there and find you so I could tell you, but we both know how that ended…" He glances up towards me and raises his eyebrow as if this was a joke. As stupid as it sounds, I breathe out a weak laugh and the tension in the room seems to fade away. We're both silent for a moment. He continues to stare down and nibble on his lip and I can't take my eyes off of him. I try to focus on every detail that makes him who he is so that his image will be burnt into my mind forever. My nose twitches as I begin to cry and shake my head frantically. This causes JT to meet my gaze with worry.

"D-don't leave." I sputter out through tears. His eyes tell me that it hurts him, and he quickly throws his arms around me. I return the embrace and sniffle into his neck as I take in his scent. I feel his fists ball up as he grasps the fabric of my shirt tightly and we stay like that for a while. I continue to weep into the crook of his thick neck as he hugs me tighter, and I occasionally feel tear drops hit my back. I break off from him and face him. His handsome face is inches away from my own as he presses his forehead against my own. I try to control my sobbing as he grips onto my shoulders reassuringly.

"I love you, JT." I spit out in between sobs. His grip on me tightens and I can sense him smiling.

"And I love you, Liberty." He whispers with an innocent sniffle. My face cracks into a smile as I drape my hands onto his neck.

"It's my fault." I whisper, "I should have never have done anything. It's my entire fault that you're gone." I cough out a laugh at myself as I roll my eyes, "I'm so stupid. It should have been me, oh god, it should have been me. You never deserved this, JT; you should still be alive, not like this…"

I feel his head shake and he peels away from me so that we're at eye contact. I catch note of a few tears crawling down his thin cheeks as he stares at me with sad eyes.

"Don't say that Liberty, it isn't your fault! You have a great place in the world. You're so strong and so smart and so beautiful and the best that I could do was make people laugh and entertain children. You have such a great life to live."

"A life would never be great without you in it." I sputter out immediately after his sentence. He sighs quietly and removes my hands from his shoulders and our fingers entwine together. I can no longer control my sobs as I cry more and shake my head.

"Please don't leave me again, JT." I whisper with a loud sob. He blinks a few times as tears drop down from his eyelashes.

"I once said that I wouldn't abandon you, Liberty, and I meant it. I'm not leaving you, alright? I'm not going to be able to see you like this every night, and this will sound very, very cliché, but I'm in your heart and you're in mine. I'm not going anywhere."

I can't even reply. I feel so vulnerable as I press my lips together in an attempt to hold back my sobs. I can feel my eyelids beginning to swell due to all the water works and I just want to be here with him forever. I don't want my JT to be dead.

I suppose he could feel my anguish, because automatically after that thought, he places his lips against my own. I immediately return the kiss as a few tears fall from my face. He deepens our kiss as I squeeze his hands tighter, dreading the idea of letting go. He breaks it off after a few minutes, and just as our faces part he whispers to me:

"I would have loved you all my life… And that's exactly what I did."

I bite my lip to hold back the never ending flow of tears as he shifts his position.

"I have to go now, okay? But I'll see you soon." He gives me another doofy smile and I return it sincerely.

"Hurry back soon." I whisper to him as he stands up. He keeps his eyes locked on my own for a moment before he turns around and dissolves into nothing. I break once again and I cry into my warm hand and squeeze my eyes shut. Suddenly my cries cease sharply as I feel warmth engulf me.

"I love you." I hear his voice whisper into my ear. I crack a smile as my cries finally subside. I'd see him again soon, I just know it. JT never gives up on something he's passionate about and neither do I. His surprise visits are the only kind of surprise that I'd adore and look forward to. I smile again as I lie back down onto my pillow.

JT's not truly gone and he never will be.


End file.
